very nice animation - would love to see some fleshed out colored in etc animations...
once again - there's a place for unfinished submissions. do it.
Finish, then resubmit. There's a whole site for partially finished things.
if you checked my news feed out i said that I lost the flash file since it corrupted and im not going to let the footage what i had go to waste
WinRAR - lol. Decent enough, not a terrible storyline and not too terrible animation. Good work!9
Thanks! Constructive criticism is the best I can get!
graphics are all right - could use reference for some of the movements to make them more believable. Maybe i'm just out of the loop but i have no idea why he has no legs in the last bit aside from just losing the game(?)
Short, jacked sound bytes, decent animating and flash, but overall just a "try again"
Very nice animation....
You lose major points for having it loops. At least you had the music stop. If you haven't turned this in yet, you'd best put a stop(); in there with a replay button or yer gonna probably lose some credits.
Other than that - i thought having the kid's head be that big was kind of inappropriate for the mood. A bit comical for a bit serious thing - "Hey for feeling so small and insignificant he SURE HAS GOT A BIG HEAD" lol. but seriously - imagery is important.
I really loved the bottle rolling part. Just an excellent animation right there.
If anything else... i could say you should put it at 24fps and animate that bitch out, but i understand it's just for a class and that might take more time than you have.
Good overall - i gave it a 5.
OH yeah, and as far as the music goes - since there's poetry, i'd say stick with something instrumental. I kept thinking i was gonna hear the words in the lyrics and i think it distracted from the video a bit.
So there ya go - i figured you probably put this up before you turned it in to get some criticism, so criticism i gave. Keep it up, kid.
Actually the loop was deliberate. This work was supposed to put in a gallery context so I don't have to restart it manually. But still I admit that I have uploaded it too rush (it is due today) before any modification is done
Not bad for a first flash, i suppose
There's plenty to be improved here. Most of it deals with the slightly more complicated aspects of making a flash animation... first one is preloaders - this is pretty much standard fare for flashes - you want the content to load before hand to avoid any errors in the flash due to improper loading... most commonly - sound and music will be off.
But you have no sound or music. and that's the second bit. Learn how to put that in and control it.
Next, you'll want to learn basic actionscript controls like gotoandplay(); and gotoandstop(); .... these will allow you to firstly stop the animation at the end (at which point it is customary to put a replay button and / or credits... also it lets you jump between scenes. This is helpful with wholly different places the flash takes place in or camera angles things like that which you want represented in it.
Your animation is pretty good, really, but try not to rely too heavily on tweening. look into making your symbols movie clips and then making that symbol's animation do the morphing work while having the tweens provide the symbol's overall motion. I think the key to making a really great flash is to master the balance between tweening and frame by frame animation. (visually, at least)
hope this helps out. Looks like your flash will probably pass, but if i were you i'd put all these suggestions into it, add some more to the story itself, and then resubmit it. (upon which time, just delete this one - it's not doing anybody any favors by being here -no offense-)
Thanks for the info. Do you know of any tutorials online that would be worth checking out? Your bit about gotoandplay() went right over my head.
I hate to give this such a low rating, because it's obvious there was plenty of time put into it at least, and that, to me, translates to effort.
However, you asked for constructive criticism, so here goes:
Animation.... Tweening isn't everything. Frame by frame helps out immensely in places... specific spots include the beginning with the elephant creature? He was growing and shrinking for no apparent reason... it would be a simple thing to animate breathing or some other sort of idle state. Look into using onion skins to help make a frame by frame Movie Clip for your character.
The lip synching was terrible. Lets start with apple... the way this character is set up he's "ripe" for the classic type of lip synching where you just draw a different mouth position for each sound. Look up a tutorial there aren't too many different positions you'd have to make, and then all you gotta do is line it up with the right sounds. As far as the turtle goes, if you watch south park, that kind of mouth movement needs the help of the rest of the character's body to convey a bit of realism to its speech. Honestly, at your skill level, i'd just give him a mouth like apple's and call it good. Much less work to make it look decent.
So content... it was a little harsh. Cartoons like Ren & Stimpy go to extreme lengths to soften the blow of the terrible terrible things they say and do to make it funny. You aren't at that skill level so it just came out wrong. Alot of it has to do with timing... the characters talk too slow, the pace in general isn't fast enough, but camera position changes, animation styles, background, this all contributes to the making wrong funny phenomenon.
Ok, now that i'm sufficiently awake i should STFU lol
I didn't blam this, but i didn't vote high either, so good luck.
Thanks alot dude, as I said any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated in my books. I'll try and work on all those things in my next cartoon. Thanks again.
The "missing frames in the hit section" is still a rampant problem on newgrounds. For fuck's sake, people - put some effort into your flashes, and yes, that means making fucking buttons that work right.
I hear a lot of people talk about "today's standards" but the fact is, something as defined as this flash would have no trouble making it past the less-than-rigorous "standards" held by newgrounds voters today. So much absolute sheit makes it through it frankly disgusts me - i'm of the opinion that the score needed to make it needs to be raised, because people are just too afraid to blam things that maybe took a modicum of effort, but really is not good in any respect.
So i suppose we need more trolls. hehe hate to say it...
And back to the flash at hand - Flash at that point was ridiculously hard to make any good. The PROGRAM itself has come a long long way, and that is reflected in the increased quality of the submissions. Well, of the submissions that get 4.0 +
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